Friday, September 14, 2007

Loneliness






Say Hi to humanity’s worse fear, loneliness.

An introduction to loneliness:

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Everyone has times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is therefore unwilling solitude.

In their growth as individuals, humans start a separation process at birth, which continues with growing independence towards adulthood. As such, feeling alone can be a healthy emotion and, indeed, choosing to be alone for a period of solitude can be enriching. To experience loneliness, however, can be to feel overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness at a profound level. This can manifest in feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness, unworthiness, meaninglessness, and resentment. If these feelings are prolonged they may become debilitating and prevent the affected individual from developing healthy relationships and lifestyles. If the individual is convinced he or she is unlovable, this will increase the experience of suffering and the likelihood of avoiding social contact. Low self esteem will often trigger the social disconnection which can lead to loneliness.


But why are we afraid of loneliness? Basically, it is the sense of being absolutely cut off from the world, that you have no more importance and you are absolutely alone. It is an extremely scary feeling. Personally, I am very scared of being alone. Must be something to do with the fact that I am seen as a ‘loner’ from young. During any activities, I try to stick with people, no matter they like me or not, it’s just the feeling that you do not ever want to be alone.

However, it should be remembered that feeling lonely is a common human emotion experienced by everyone at times (and therefore is not a defect). Intimate friendships take time to develop, and sometimes it is useful to help deal with the loneliness by sharing your experiences with someone else.

Ending this short post with a shorter message:

It does not matter if you are lonely, everyone will be lonely at times. Accept the fact that you are a unique individual that is important and people do want to interact with you!




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